Breathe in, breathe out

The wind and the rain (mostly that wind!) that we had last week have pretty much cleared the trees of their leaves and so we have entered that time between pretty autumn color and winter white. 

I am feeling muddle-headed again (drugs, hormones, age, fatigue? *sigh*) and so I have no clever transition to what is on my mind, so I will just write. (And to my sisters, there is no cause for alarm!)

Two months ago, I couldn't breathe. Not fun. I had the thoracentesis and had immediate relief. Not being able to breathe really makes one think about being able to breathe, let me tell you!  And now, I do think about it and probably stress a bit too much about it.  

I still feel winded with exertion. Nothing at all like 2 months ago, but noticeable. So, is it noticeable only because of how I was? I mean, for the 16 months preceding the second pleural effusion, was I this exact same way and didn't notice because it wasn't bad and I just plugged along? Or is it noticeable in a way in which I should be concerned?

This is the inside of my head.

Several disclaimers here: 

I have been to the doctor a couple of times since the latest effusion and my lungs sound clear. 

If my current meds were not doing their job, the effusion would have been back by now.

One of the side effects of one of my meds is shortness of breath.

I see the doctor again next week and we will have a better idea of where I am with this line of treatment. I think a lot of my worries (and I feel that may be too strong a word for how I feel) come from a little bit of fear of the unknown and a lack of routine that I had with my first treatment. Round one had me in that office being poked and prodded, and therefore reassured that I was doing great, a lot more often than this round. Add 40+ hours a week that I used to be wrapped up in work mode...that's a lot of time to think. (I will admit that I can blow some of that with Property Brothers and Project Runway, haha).

Again, sisters, don't be worried...I am ready for our trip! The only bad news is that we may have to just sit on our balcony and relax. A lot. So sad.

;)